lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Leave a comment

Naysayers Say the Most Ridiculous Things



Naysayers, you know who you are.

Last week Ol’ Wise One and I were talking in the kitchen.
“So, now you want to start a career at 63 . . . ,” he says dismissively.
( I had just mentioned to him that I wanted to work part time. )

Oohhh! Hold up now.
I can ‘t believe that came out of his mouth.
I want a part-time job . . . I didn’t say I wanted to become a doctor
or lawyer or join the Peace Corps and travel to Africa.

Someone else can do that.

And how dare he age me nine years!
I was ready to throw my favorite coffee cup at him, but I refrained
from doing so.
Instead, I took a breath. Then, these words flashed in my mind,
“You are not in control. God is. And I think God can still use me.
I’m not dead yet.”

After calming down, I decided to forgive him. It wasn’t easy.
For me forgiveness takes awhile, but eventually I get there.

Naysayers say the most ridiculous things, don’t they?

Here are some examples:
1. You can’t move to Manhattan, you’ll never make it as an artist.
Stay here with your mother and me. There’s nothing wrong living  in
the town you grew up in.

2. You’re going to marry her?  It will never last.

3. You applied to the Juilliard School? To do what, ACT?
But, you are not beautiful/ tall/thin/talented  enough. You don’t have
the right look!

4. You want to be a artist? They make no money! How about welding?
Or the cement business? Now, that’s where the money is.

Since turning 50-something, I learned that naysayers are a group of
people who are in fear of what MIGHT happen. They are afraid.

If they felt secure enough to completely love and support us,
we could take them along for the joyride of a lifetime.

When you have a naysayer in your life, you can cope by putting their
comments to the side. Forgive them, but take heart in knowing that
they do not know YOU. For that reason, they do not know what the
heck they are talking about.

Do what you have to do to reach your heart’s desire. Wake up each day
and show up in life. Make the most of each day. Give it your best shot.
As long as you are still breathing, God can use you.

If joining the Peace Corps is in your heart, then plant your feet firmly
on the ground and start walking in that direction. Want to be a chef?
Go to culinary school. You want to write that book, then commit and
wake up two hours early
and turn your lap top on.

Dear God,
Why do we have naysayers in this life? Why?
I don’t get it.

I believe that when you put desires and goals in our hearts,
there is a reason. You want us to go out there in the world and use
what you gave us.

I know you are still in control of my life. I will continue
to seek your will until you say otherwise.



Leave a comment

Get in the love den NOW! I’m Ovulating! Part 2

IMG_5501-4“Ruby, relax . . . the baby will come.”

“I want tell yuuuu how proud I am with your blog.
Your brother James, man he is in bondage.
Give me his birthdates.
I’m into Numerology. Maybe I can help him.

And your sister Rita Mae is a hoot.
I can relate about her fuss about A/C. I told Sterling
when we moved into our condo, ‘Baby, you need to make
me happy! I had A/C in Dallas and I’m not about to start
fannin’ myself now.'”

Like Ruby I felt the same way about God growing up.

I had this vision he is gonna whip me into shape for sinning.
And that’s why I once walked away from church. But, then
I learned that his Son — he died
on the cross for my sins. He took my place to set me free.
It was life changing for me to know that if I do
something bad, he will not disown me.

I don’t know why my Ruby can’t conceive.

But I told her that maybe it is not in God’s plan
for her to give birth to a baby. I know Ruby desires
the experience of having a bump for 9 months
and swollen ankles. But, maybe his plan is for her to adopt a
child that needs two loving parents who can provide all her
or his needs. Perhaps there is a baby out there that is trying
to find Ruby and Sterling. I told Ruby to stay open.

Let’s pray . . .

Dear God,
Bless Ruby with the ability to have a child.
But if it is not in your plan, may her heart be open
to other ways of caring for one.

Many times we think our plans are so much
better than yours, in Isaiah 55v11 you say to us:
Your thoughts are not my thoughts,
my ways are not your ways . . . my ways go far
beyond what you can ever imagine.


Leave a comment

Get in the love den NOW! I’m Ovulating! Part 1

IMG_5501-4My classmate Ruby and I met for lunch.
It’s been entertaining getting to know her over the last year.

She and her husband, Sterling, have been trying to have a baby. So far, every
month has been a disappointment.

What I love about her is our equal opportunity talks about our lives.

She always asks to see pictures and videos of Napoleon although I know she is
aching for a baby.

During lunch, as she digs into her chop salad I see the corner of her false lashes
peeling. At any moment now, I wonder if the lashes will become part of her lunch.

Should I say something?

Never mind, I think she feels that they are about to jump down on a crouton.
“Excuse me my falsies are comin’ off,” she says reaching for her compact.

“Lola, do think I’m being punished?” she asks me while fidgeting with her
lashes. I was always misbehavin’ in high school. The things I did! And
now we are trying’ to have a baby . . . I yelled at Sterling this last Sunday, ‘Baby, get in the love den NOW! I’m OVULATING. And guess what? Sex is now work.”

Love den? Who has a love den?

“Praise God someone is getting lucky,” I respond taking mini sips of my Syrah.

“I’m serious,” she says.

“You are not being punished,” I sigh. “To me God is not the God of punishment.”

“Well, I grew up Catholic in Dallas and when I was a lil’ girl in Sunday school they talked about if you don’t do this or that God will punish you.”

“I heard the same thing. I don’t believe God is up there with a whip ready to use it on his children if we do something wrong. Would you whip your child?
God does do ‘time out’ maybe but he does not whip his people.”

“You sure ’bout that? This not being able to have a baby is not a punishment?
I hate to think I blocked my own Karma.”

*****Part 2 tomorrow

1 Comment

Turn the Oven On High and Put Your Head In, Part 2

IMG_5472-5Drop everything. Turn your iPhone off.
I promise you the universe will continue on
as it should without you for a moment.
No one will die.

When I see my TO DO list and I feel my head
might burst from all the chatter going on in there,
I do two things. (1) I go to the chapel and cry my eyes out,
and (2) I try to listen to what God has to say.
But often I’m crying and talking so fast, God can’t get a
word in.

Eventually, I am able to quiet my mind and body. There
is a feeling of comfort in the quietness and stillness in
between the pews. I begin to realize how important it is
for my heart and soul TO DO for others.
But, I also get in touch with how important it is to
take time out for me. It could be one hour or half the day.
As long as it is for only me. That thought makes me smile.

I’m happy walking in to my photography class. It’s for me.
That’s why I show up every class.

Heading to the gym keep me sane. I need the gym
to de-stress and sweat . . . and be far away from all my family
issues and the constant ringing of the cell.

I enjoy blogging. I show up three days a week to get a
draft going. I tend to live in my head and I have all these
characters I need to spill on the blank
page that pops up on my laptop. And my hope
is that my blogging is a way TO DO for others.

If you are reading this blog, perhaps, you have found
some time for yourself to read. Now, what else can you
do for yourself today? What will bring smile to your face?

Lets pray.

Dear God,
Life. What’s it all about anyway?
I know it’s not the TO DO list.

When  life gets too HECTIC,
remind us to sit and be still
and know you are God. The most high.
A force bigger than us. YOU will
help us get through the day.
Thank you, Amen.


Leave a comment

Turn the Oven On Broil and Put Your Head In, Part 1


During our 30-minute lunch break
Ned who is an assistant in my photography class
scoots his chair next to mine.

A sweet man with a calm vibe, he clears his throat.
We have a lot in common. We both blog
and care for an aging parent . . . and orphans,
stray dogs, homeless relatives, . . .
whoever needs us.

“Lola, I know you blog. How often do you do it?” he asks while taking a bite of his sandwich.

“I post once a week. There are times I don’t know
what to blog about, but my whole issue is
finding the time to write.
You know I read that Beyoncé has 24 hours in a day like us and
damn! . . . she gets things done!!!”

He nods as he munches on a chip. “It does help to
have an entourage. ” he adds


“The reason why I ask is that I barely have time
to do my blog. Yesterday was all about
calling the plumber, making a doctor’s appointment,
and taking care of Morticia our pug. She wasn’t feeling well.”
Then points to his partner, Floyd, who happens to be our instructor.
“And Floyd, I love him dearly, but he is a handful.”

Floyd is across the room twirling his spaghetti, ready for a huge bite.
He is smart and creative. I swear he knows just as much as Siri (the iPhone know-it-all). We had to break 30 minutes earlier than usual so he could
eat something — he told us his blood sugar was low.
I can see that he would be a 24/7 person to care for.

We all feel the pull of life, don’t we?
Life can be a bi#$! at times.
Driving kids to their synchronized swimming practice,
meeting the needs of our demanding partners, paying the bills, taking care of a sick dog.

The pull from everything and everyone is so great.
You just want to turn the oven on BROIL and put your head in.
The list of things TO DO goes on and on.

What does one do with these long TO DO lists?

–Part two tomorrow–