Let the Day Decide, Part 2

Continuing with my list!

6. Thank you for my girlfriends. You need them in your corner to help you vent. (Oh, I forgot. My therapist calls it bitching, not venting.)

It is great for us to let it out. Bitch away! Don’t go through your issues alone. Let girlfriends come along for the ride.

NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE IN LIFE. WE NEED EACH OTHER. WE NEED TO MEET FOR COFFEE, OK . . . FORGET COFFEE, MEET FOR A GLASS OF WINE OR CONNECT THROUGH EMAIL, FACEBOOK, or TWITTER. CONNECTING KEEPS US GROUNDED AND GIVES US A SENSE OF COMMUNITY. AND WE FEEL WE ARE NOT ALONE. WE ARE ALL GOING THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEMS.

7. Thank you for my menopause. It has given me a push, a rebirth of my true self. My emotional growth as a 50 plus menopausal woman has blossomed. I like who I’m becoming.
I’m grateful for the 10 extra pounds around my waistline.
Hot flashes come and I don’t take notice. I just start fanning myself and grab a couple of ice cubes to suck on. I have learned to put on the “layered look” when I leave my condo.

Flat shoes are now my “go to” footwear.
I had to surrender my designer 6-inch heels to Goodwill. With two bunion operations, I now wear flat shoes or two-inch heels when I go out. With my dizzy spells, I don’t want to take a chance of  trying to stay grounded as the room spins around me and my towering heels. That does not sound attractive.

An added bonus to menopause is
that I speak up more, but not in a bi-atch way.
I had no idea I had a grown-up voice until I gave myself PERMISSION to use it.
It is a straight forward voice and it is empowering and liberating.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THE OTHER PERSON DIDN’T LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.
(IN MY CASE, THAT WOULD BE MY HUSBAND.)
IT’S NOT MY JOB TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY. FOR A LONG TIME I REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS MY CAREER. NOT ANYMORE.

8. Thank you for my writing and blogging.
I am now a member of the “blog – on” movement.
I thought about putting my writing out there . . . talked it over
with myself many times and to my BF. Finally, I said “Enough Lola. Take a chance. RISK.”

And so I did four months ago. And, to my wonderment, I have readers! Haha. Who knew?

I LEARNED YOU HAVE TO NOT TALK ABOUT IT SO MUCH. JUST DO IT. BE OPEN TO WHERE YOU MIGHT END UP.
DON’T PLAN IT ALL OUT. LET IT FIND YOU.
WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.
AND IF YOU WANT SOMETHING IN LIFE. YOU HAVE TO PUT
SOME WORK INTO IT. GOD IS NOT GOING TO DO IT ALL FOR YOU. YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR FEET FORWARD.

9. Thank you for my editor MB. I couldn’t do my writing/ blogging without my editor. I’d rewrite it until the end of time. The result would be beads of sweat on my forehead and damp arm pits. And I would just get frustrated, give up, and head to my favorite health store and pig out on two slices of vegan pizza. I’d then wash it all down with coconut water and end it all with a vegan chocolate chip cookie. Yah.

MB saves me from all this strife by proofreading and tweaking. My gift is not in editing. MB has an eye for it.
I know what I’m great at, and proofreading is not one of them.

KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GREAT AT AND LET OTHERS
DO THE REST.

10. THANK YOU that I’m mindful enough to try to be present. At times, my mind wonders to places I want to be like Maui, Napa Valley, New York, or Manila. I’ m not focused on what is in front of me. I’m not listening.

WHAT IS IN FRONT OF US IS THE VERY THING WE NEED MOST IN THIS MOMENT.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

What are you Thankful for this
season?

Dear God,

My life is good. Thank you.
Amen.

Lola

Let the Day Decide, Part 1

Where does time go? The clock just keeps on ticking, stopping for no one.

It’s almost Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Day is a day set aside to stop for a moment to say THANK YOU.

It’s the only time I like to cook. I like being in the kitchen
for five hours basting a pasty-white 15-pound turkey with white wine and butter. Yum. And, patiently waiting for it to turn golden brown is enjoyable. An occasional sip of wine puts me in the mood to let the day decide.

Back in the day, we only had one of our our sons home during Thanksgiving. One son, Christopher, played basketball and he was always away for a tournament. We missed him at the dinner table. However, it was his passion, and he was good at
it. Now, he plays basketball for a living.

This is my thank you list:

1. Thank you for my two boys living far from home and in search of their own path.  I am very proud of their independence. My sons live on opposites of the globe from each other. I never thought it would end up like this, but I found out children are like birds. They have to FLY. We have no control  over what direction they choose to fly.

THIS IS WHAT I DO KNOW. LIKE OUR CHILDREN, WE HAVE TO MOVE ON.

THEY WANT US TO MOVE FORWARD, AND NOT REMAIN STAGNANT.

2. Thank you for my grandson Napoleon. He is a shiny gem in my life. He is my star in the night. Wow, I sound poetic. What more can I say about him? He is a big, bundle of joy. In other words, he’s porky for a little guy. But as soon as he starts playing soccer, I know he will lose his double chin.

BEING A GRANDPARENT ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE. YOU CAN’T DESCRIBE IT UNTIL YOU HOLD YOUR OWN.

3. Thank you for the 26th year of my marriage. It’s moving forward in the right direction. This was not the case last year.
Being married this long is so much work.

I ask myself what is the alternative?
Divorce. That’s work, too, and lawyers are so expensive.
Go on eHarmony to find a date? No, thank you!
Kidding aside.
My husband and I drive each other crazy, but there is love, kindness, and understanding underneath all the craziness.

AND WE ARE BOTH COMMITTED TO OUR MARRIAGE.

4. Thank you for my bible study group that I attend not far from my home. It has given me a place to learn more about my God. I have learned that I can lean on him, surrender all my worries, and trust that his plans are going to be perfect for me.

EACH DAY, I KNOW THAT A HIGHER SPIRIT WILL MOVE ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. MY PART IS EASY. IT IS TO KNOW AND ACKNOWLEDGE.

5. Thank you for my health. My eyes are opening up to taking better care of my body. With my vertigo, I was so concerned about driving.
Will I ever be able to drive again? I don’t want to depend on anyone to drive me to Walgreens. I don’t want a dizzy episode on the freeway or getting on an airplane. Can you imagine getting
dizzy and experiencing nausea as the plane ascends to the heavens?
The flight attend would have to give me a tranquilizer large enough to subdue a gorilla.

WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR HEALTH, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO BACK TO BED AND CALL IT A DAY.

Vertigo

For the first time in three weeks, I have been able to write inside my condo. My laptop is finally fixed. But, then, a health issue put my writing blog on hold for a while longer. Oh, the trials of a blogger.

Monday I woke up at 6 am. I opened my eyes and the room was spinning. Whoa. I got scared.

Am I dreaming?

I closed my eyes again. It felt like I was on one of the rides at a fair. At a fair, this feeling is a good mixture of scary and fun. Not in my own bedroom.

I was not dreaming.

My hand reached for my husband. “Honey, the room is spinning, and my stomach . . . I’m going to throw up.”

He bolted out of bed and into the kitchen. I can hear all the cupboards and drawers being opened. I think, “For cryin’ out loud, pick a soup bowl, a paper bag, anything round or plastic. Hurry.”

He hands me clear plastic bag, the size of my iPhone 5S.

Is this the best he can do?

My poor husband. I can see that me being ill is going to be a bumpy road for both of us.

I threw up everything that I ate from the night before. I was still throwing up when I had nothing left inside of me.
I counted a dozen heaves.

The upper half of my body chimed in with my spinning head. There was a dance going on.

Every time I shifted from one side to the other as I lay in my bed indicated to my stomach that it was time throw up. My eyes became sensitive to the morning light. My nose couldn’t stand the Tide scent of the wash cloth my husband gave me to wipe my face. My ears were sensitive to the buses  and cars that passed  by our condo and the clicking of dishes as my husband made his way through the kitchen still looking for a “vomit bowl.”

It tells a lot about a couple when they can deal with one of the pair needing a vomit bowl in on standby.

At 5 pm, we went the doctor’s office and, again, I throw up. I’m sure the doctor is used to it, but, still, I look at him and say, “I’m sorry.”

All my symptoms pointed to vertigo. Here is a short definition.

Vertigo is a type of dizziness. Deep inside the ear, there is a small network of tubes that is filled with fluid. Special calcium float inside that fluid. The tubes and deposits make up the vestibular system, which tells the brain what position the body is in. The vestibular system also helps you maintain your balance.

If these tubes inside your inner ear get swollen or if they form extra calcium deposits, you can lose your balance and develop vertigo.

It is not fun to experience. The doctor gave me an over-the-counter  medication called Meclizine.

I began to fret about my vacation. I’m flying next week to visit my grandbaby, Napoleon. My imagination got carried away with full force. What if I get vertigo on the plane? What if I throw up? Fortunately, I do know they always have vomit bags on hand.

What if I can’t handle the person sitting next to me who has a strong fragrance of Lancôme or a musk scent from Wal-Mart?
Will they have to land the plane and drop me off? Will they do that just for me? What if I just don’t go? I won’t be able to redeem my plane fare that cost me an arm and a leg.

My thoughts got the best of me. I finally said, “God wants me to be happy and seeing Napoleon will bring me lots of happiness. I will surrender all. I will SHOW UP at the airport.”

At times you have to capture your fears by the tail and put them in a box.

Dear God,

I’m beginning to see the truth of “If you don’t have your health, you have nothing.”

In Matthew 9, verse 21, For she thought,
“If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed”

God, my request is for you to heal my inner ear.
Bless me with no more episodes of vertigo.
Make my ear work the way it was designed to.

For the rest of the world, bless those who have health problems. Make them whole. Turn things around for them and work your miracles.

Amen.

Lola