My brother’s girlfriend, Shauna,
and I were at Starbucks waiting for our
Our conversation led to relationships.
We both knew this one couple that
she was talking about.
“I got a call from Teddy the other day.”
“Yah, what does Teddy have to say?”
“He said, ‘Nigel and I are not getting along these days
he is so inconsiderate. He is late
on everything from getting ready to go out
to paying half his share of the bills. And
his dirty socks never make it to the laundry room.’ ”
My Dumbo ears turned toward her. I know all about
dirty socks on the floor.
“I told Teddy . . . when you met him
and fell in love, you fell in love with
all his sweetness and his carry-on luggage.
He was already late and his socks were already on the floor.
You can’t change him. You can
only change who you are.”
“Hellelujah. Isn’t that the truth,” I said.
Slowly sipping my coconut latte, I began to think about one of my favorite prayers — the Serenity Prayer.
It is used by Alcoholics Anonymous
and similar 12-step programs.
From alcohol to drugs to
dirty socks on the floor — it is all relevant.
You cannot change the other person.
The Serenity Prayer goes like this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change ,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.