Happy Sunday friends.
Happy New Year friends,
Today is my 5th video blog. Today’s verse is about goal setting
and big dreams. The bigger the dream, the better .
Watch and enjoy.
Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way to my video. Haha. Hi!
I noticed I said the wrong verse in my video. Forgive me. Here is the correct verse Luke 10 v 27 not Luke 11. This verse is about loving your neighbor as you love yourself. Cheers.
Naysayers, you know who you are.
Last week Ol’ Wise One and I were talking in the kitchen.
“So, now you want to start a career at 63 . . . ,” he says dismissively.
( I had just mentioned to him that I wanted to work part time. )
Oohhh! Hold up now.
I can ‘t believe that came out of his mouth.
I want a part-time job . . . I didn’t say I wanted to become a doctor
or lawyer or join the Peace Corps and travel to Africa.
Someone else can do that.
And how dare he age me nine years!
I was ready to throw my favorite coffee cup at him, but I refrained
from doing so.
Instead, I took a breath. Then, these words flashed in my mind,
“You are not in control. God is. And I think God can still use me.
I’m not dead yet.”
After calming down, I decided to forgive him. It wasn’t easy.
For me forgiveness takes awhile, but eventually I get there.
Naysayers say the most ridiculous things, don’t they?
Here are some examples:
1. You can’t move to Manhattan, you’ll never make it as an artist.
Stay here with your mother and me. There’s nothing wrong living in
the town you grew up in.
2. You’re going to marry her? It will never last.
3. You applied to the Juilliard School? To do what, ACT?
But, you are not beautiful/ tall/thin/talented enough. You don’t have
the right look!
4. You want to be a artist? They make no money! How about welding?
Or the cement business? Now, that’s where the money is.
Since turning 50-something, I learned that naysayers are a group of
people who are in fear of what MIGHT happen. They are afraid.
If they felt secure enough to completely love and support us,
we could take them along for the joyride of a lifetime.
When you have a naysayer in your life, you can cope by putting their
comments to the side. Forgive them, but take heart in knowing that
they do not know YOU. For that reason, they do not know what the
heck they are talking about.
Do what you have to do to reach your heart’s desire. Wake up each day
and show up in life. Make the most of each day. Give it your best shot.
As long as you are still breathing, God can use you.
If joining the Peace Corps is in your heart, then plant your feet firmly
on the ground and start walking in that direction. Want to be a chef?
Go to culinary school. You want to write that book, then commit and
wake up two hours early
and turn your lap top on.
Why do we have naysayers in this life? Why?
I don’t get it.
I believe that when you put desires and goals in our hearts,
there is a reason. You want us to go out there in the world and use
what you gave us.
I know you are still in control of my life. I will continue
to seek your will until you say otherwise.
Do you have siblings and
and a parent that say and do things that
annoy the sh– out of you?
James has borrowed my mom’s Honda for one year.
The maintenance light has been on for 10 months.
He has never bothered to say
“Hmm . . . the car might need new oil . . . or a tire rotation” or
“Maybe this light means something important like the car needs some tender loving care?”
My sister Rita-May came to visit for two weeks and she
stayed at my mom’s apartment. She also borrowed the Honda.
During her stay, the temperature went up to
95 and beyond.
The car’s AC failed to work.
Nine a.m., my cell rings .
“Good Morning. Did you know the AC decided not to work?
That’s right . . .”
I can just see her sitting right in front of mom’s clip on fan
with her orange toes perched on top of her Louis Vuitton luggage devouring a Cinnabon.
It was only a matter of time before the Honda
was going to break down, but I was not going
to nag my brother James to get it serviced. I have my
“You know . . . I can’t handle not having AC, ” my sister complained.
“We always have the AC turned up HIGH in our home, car, and office. I can’t believe no one has AC here. This is upsetting.”
First world issues for Rita-May.
“Well, of course you have AC ,” I told her.
She lives in 115-degree, dry heat
year round, so she would be DUMB not to have AC.
Does she not recall being born and raised in the Pacific NW?
Having AC is a luxury. For sure, my next home will have AC just so when Rita visits me, she can put her feet up, relax, and enjoy her apple fritter. For now my AC are two fans.
Rita took the Honda in for
service. It needed oil, A/C compressor, coil set and filter.
She’s smart. She didn’t ignore the maintenance light.
But, I got another phone call.
“Lola, the car repairs on the car cost $1,500.00. That ‘s with my military discount. I just saved ya’ll $250.00.”
“Relax, Lola,” I say. I will now recite my meditation mantra:
Show me how to love
Teach me how to extend my light
Remove the barriers of my soul*
I feel a migraine coming.
Why did I answer the damn phone!?
****Part 2 tomorrow
My 50-year-old brother James is smart and hilarious.
I love him and right now that is all I can do.
Every year when I have Thanksgiving at my home,
he gets his own cherry pie. He loves cherry pie.
I like to make him smile.
His life is never sunny.
James has a basket of lemons he holds on to.
For some unexplained reason,
he can’t seem to or won’t
channel his smartness to getting in his car, driving
to Target, and buying a juicer so he can make lemonade.
I have learned that when people in your life
throw you lemons, you can always say
“NO, thank you.
I don’t have a juicer.”
And I have learned, that when I have to, I can make pretty good lemonade from the lemons that do come my way. It isn’t always easy, of course.
But, my brother, hasn’t ever quite figured out what do to with the lemons in his life. He doesn’t throw them back. And he doesn’t make lemonade. Here are the lemons in his life:
*Our dad was an alcoholic and was never was around.
*He had bad case of acne as a teenager.
*He never graduated from high school and can’t seem to keep a job.
*He got a divorce.
*The bank foreclosed on his home after he neglected to pay his mortgage.
* He has filed for bankruptcy.
With that many lemons, he could have
gotten himself a lemonade stand.
I believe my brother suffers from depression.
I went to the doctor with him to see if
he can get on medication . . . the doctor gave him a prescription.
But my brother slipped it into
his wallet and there it stayed.
Ol’ Wise One offered him a job,
but my brother never filled out an application .
I could go buy him a juicer, make lemonade for him, hook it up as an IV on his arm, and give him a shot of B12 in his ass, but I don’t think it would help.
Hmmmm . . . as much as I want to fix him, I retired
from fixing other people’s issues. Too exhausting.
I do know this from my own journey,
I have done my best to beat my depression, panic attacks, and
anxiety. I have had 12 years of therapy.
I was on lots of medication, but now I’m down
to one . Yahh. I have had lots of lemons
thrown at me or the lemons just magically appear in my life without my asking for them.
But, one day I drove to Target
bought a juicer and began making lemonade.
My road back to healing has been a lot of work.
********Part 2 tomorrow
I must be a popular person to be with and loved. Of course, ZEN vibes
ooze out of my skin throughout the day. Who wouldn’t want to be
Two invitations came to me this week: one from Ol’ Wise One and the
other was from my BF.
Ole’ Wise One asked me to go to a high school graduation three hours away. It was for Jenna, his late best friend’s daughter. Getting there means driving to the ferry dock,
getting on the ferry, and then driving another two hours. Really.
Is that how I want to spend my precious Friday?
My BF invited me to go to the beach with her in July for the weekend with another girlfriend. “Wow!” I thought. “Walking the beach with
two ladies I’m fond of sounds fantastic and I know at night there will be dinners with
serious talks about our husbands, grandkids, and world events. We will figure out what ISIS is all about and formulate ways to handle all the scary things on the news.
How can I refuse?
But, I began to ponder why I didn’t jump with excitement. Is something wrong with me?
“NO, I’m being who I am,” I told myself.
As I thought more about the situation, I became aware what I wanted to do.
It’s amazing to be over 50. I know how much I know what I want NOW. I know myself more than ever. The layers of what I don’t want are peeling away faster and faster. Could it be that I’m AWAKE to the fact that I’m not getting any younger. I know I have low estrogen.
And I know I’m getting closer to my grave.
As these layers peel away, I’m getting closer to my soul,
the core of who I am–my true beautiful self.
With clarity, I know what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to
be in the car driving to an event that I could care less about.
How awful it would be for me to be with my husband with
this bitchy attitude. The very truth was that was not how I wanted to
spend my day.
Going to the beach was not what I wanted to do for one weekend
during the summer. I know there will come a time that I will see both of these ladies.
Just not this July.
By saying “yes” to the two invites, my mind and body
would go through a spin and rinse cycle of “Why did I say yes? I don’t want to go,
but if I don’t go they will get mad or they will think I’m selfish.”
With my 20/20 vision and ability to know how I would react be in the future, I knew what I wanted and realized it before I said “yes” to something that I really wanted to say “no” to.
My days and weeks are about my husband, making dinners, my mom, my relatives, and my part-time job. When I do have the time to do nothing and have a moment to myself, I feel like the luckiest woman on earth. I’m so grateful to have timeout. Having timeout with myself energizes me.
I’m centered. No one needs me!!! I love it.
I can do things like catch up on reading other blog sites,
take in a movie, get some writing done on paper–all sorts of
soul-caring stuff that feeds my soul.
Perhaps I’m making up time for all the yesses I said
back in my 30s and 40s.
My BF said to me “That’s OK if you don’t want to go. You are clear and
that is all that matters.” She is so supportive, caring, and spunky. That’s
why we are BFs .
This much I do know: I’m blessed and I thank God for all the great people in my life.
And to all the young women bloggers out there, if you are reading this,
learn to say NO. It’s OK.
All week long, I give so much to others.
And I know I’m on this planet to work, have relationships,
to care for my mother, and to be a helpmate to my partner.
Thank you for giving me the clarity to know caring
for myself is just as important as giving to others.