lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor


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One Day It Will All Make Sense

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Sitting across from Ralph I feel a vibe that I can’t
describe. I only sense it.

“Mom, it will all come together,” he says.
These are the perfect words for me to hear as I struggle with uncertainty about what the heck I’m doing with my life.

Ralph and I share bits and pieces of conversation
about his career and opportunities in New York as relatives are vying for time with him. He only had three days to visit. He came to attend his cousin’s wedding. [It was a really good time. See photo below.]

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My son. In front of me is young man that I pray for nightly.
I pray that he will grow up to use all his talents, be respectful, down to earth . . . all the things that you hope your child becomes. What I sense is that he has all those good qualities and much more.

We have a couple of hours till the wedding so I ask him about his job.

“I like my two bosses. And you asked me two months ago when I started how I would rate it.”

“And what is it from 1-10?” I inquire again. “And don’t tell me what I want to hear just because I’m your mother.”

“It is a 7.5. On a good day an 8.” He smiles.

“Your position is different from what you originally told me you desired to do. I’m confused. I thought you wanted to represent talented artists?”

“That plus produce one day . . . right now I’m marketing Indie films. One day it will all make sense.”

“So . . . what do I tell friends who want to know why you are living in New York?”

“You tell them to keep their eyes open for my name in five years.”

AWW . . . Oh . . . he’s gooood. I’ll use that too when people ask me what the heck I’m doing with my life.

Now I know how to describe the vibe I am getting from my son . . . it is his quiet confidence. I love that about him. I think it’s sexy.
Now, mind you, I know it sounds weird using the word “sexy” as I talk about my son, but you know what I mean.

Having a quiet confidence, whether you are a man or woman, is sexy. There is nothing so annoying as someone constantly boasting about his/her life changing accomplishments.

This I know . . . keep moving forward. Don’t stop.
Don’t let uncertainty and doubts get you down.
Ask God to show you the way. The path will appear.
Trust that it will all come together and make sense.

I made many wrong turns along the way in my life by simply of not checking in first with what God’s plans are for my life. I learned that when go around thinking that I can do it all myself, my plans turn out to be disastrous. And, I tell yah, life is such a B$#@&*! when I try to be in control.

Dear God,
Seems to me you are taking good care of my son living in the Big Apple.
Please continue to teach him the way, light his path, and always find favor in him.

Thank you.

Amen, Lola


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Lemons But No Juicer, Part 2

IMG_5257-2*Arise (from the depression and prostration in which
circumstances have kept you -rise to a new life)!
Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord) for
your light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen
upon you!
Isaiah 60 v 1

I knew what I DIDN’T want. I didn’t want to be
under the covers, sleeping until noon, with life passing me by.
I didn’t want to blame others for my dreams and goals
not coming true. I didn’t want to be bitter, overweight, unhappy, lifeless, and
without energy.

Deep inside myself, I wanted to get better. I decided to
ARISE.

What I do know: You gotta want it.

I desire to be all that I can be.

During my bouts of depression and anxiety, I still
had my faith. I knew that God was still in the healing business
and that he still cared for me.
I began to pray in my bed with the covers up to
my ears . . . I prayed around the kitchen
and in the bathroom.

Suddenly, I had this smile in my face.

Here I am asking God for direction
for my life and yet I am still in my nightgown.
How can God use me and all my gifts
if I ‘m not properly dressed?

It hit me. I realized when you are in bed and can’t
seem to get up, you just need to do one thing so God can help you. Put your clothes on!

But, not the T-shirt that has spaghetti stains on it.
Dress well. Put on clothes that make you feel good and say out loud
BRING IT ON.

Start with small goals. Email that one person who
may know of a job opening. If you take the first
step toward a goal, the God of the universe will
step forward to meet you.

He is a God of
miracles and he can open doors of opportunity
when in your mind you are thinking “that door does not
exist.” God will say to you
“Yes, it does and if it doesn’t I’ll build a door.”

Write down small goals and follow through.
Next week, challenge yourself and make your next goal bigger than the last one.

Do what I do: Pray over your goals. I do this all
the time. I ask God to help me achieve what is on my
list. If it’s his will, he will bring the items on the list to fruition.
If not , he has something else better in mind.

We all have lemons in on our kitchen counter. Today, go get a juicer,
plug it in, and turn it ON.

Cheers to you.

Dear God,
I surrender my brother to you. I don’t know
what to do anymore.

I do know that
you love and care for all the lost and depress souls.
May you turn their lives around, bless them
with renewed interest, and a fresh direction
like you did with me.

Amen,

Lola


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You Are Unstoppable, Part 1

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May I find meaningful work and meaningful
activity in my life.
I desire to wake up each morning and feel
that I am used on behalf of something
glorious.        by M. Williamson

Who is in your S3SS?

S3SS stands for Super 3 Support System.

Having a super support system
was a reoccurring theme during
my cousin’s graduation ceremony.

In the early morning, I had
a throbbing behind-the-eyes migraine.

“Today is not the day to have anything wrong with me,” I told myself while I tossed and turned in bed.
“Man, I have to show up.
Plus, there’s food and wine afterwards. Can’t miss that.”

I managed to soothe my migraine and
I showed up.

It was an inspiring and motivating day. About 300 grads
completed their degrees in their chosen field. Each one had a moving story to share, but we couldn’t hear all 300 stories. We would have been there until midnight. Two candidates were selected to share how they made it.

LEAH HANSEN worked for the Department of Corrections for 25 years.
In order for her to move forward in her career, she had to get
her Bachelor’s degree. She had all sorts of excuses to not do it:

I’m a single mom. I work full time. Who will
care for my son if I’m doing homework? How can I afford
college? All these excuses were in the way and would not let her move from point
A to point B. But, she had a support system to help her.

Leah’s super three support system included her mom, stepdad,
and best friend and they told her:
“If you set your mind on doing something good–you can do the impossible.”
With this in mind she applied to college, got in, and pursued her degree.

With focus, determination, and
help from her family she now has a degree in criminal justice.

Dang! When I heard that I reached for a tissue.

We make excuses everyday, don’t we?

**********PART 2 tomorrow


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Waiting . . .

 

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Is it hard for you to be still?
Still enough to take a few minutes each day to quiet the mind
and hear what the God of the universe has to say
and learn the direction he desires for us to go?
Most days I walk ahead of God
and don’t take that few minutes needed to
pause and allow God to reveal his wisdom.

I have the hardest time doing that — listening and waiting.
But when I commit
to the moment to be still  — I receive
an array of wonderful Aha! thoughts.
Imagine that.

Just the other day, I was walking to
my Starbucks office with my head down and
thinking about why “my life” is like it is.
I wasn’t coming from a place of being
ungratefulness or miserable  — I was checking in with myself, coming from a place of awareness.

Talking to myself, I said,
“Maybe the reason why I’m in this valley and the
valley so low is that God is still creating and shaping all the
missing puzzles pieces that belong and perfectly fit
in my life.

Here are the things I have been waiting on:
* ‘Ole Wise One and I have been searching for
the perfect 2,500-sq.ft. three-bedroom home.
It’s probably being painted and staged right
this minute.
So I will have to wait.

* My son, Ralph, to be hired by this well-known agency in New York.
My sense is that before he gets the position
he will have to wait on tables a little while longer.
Hmmm . . . I guess that means my son will be a waiting waiter.

* That exciting career for myself that I have been
praying for and visualizing in lotus position when I meditate.
Again, perhaps all the things I have been
doing lately like writing, blogging,
having a chance to speak at this
one retreat, and attending bible study are
shaping me for what is to come.

Not only do we have to wait for our careers to take
off and the home of our dreams to show up . . .

. . .  we wait for smaller things like the light to turn green at an intersection
or we patiently wait in a long line for our
triple tall non-fat caramel macchiato with a light drizzle
of sweetness.

This I know —
If we can wait for our favorite smiley barista to
concoct that perfect macchiato, I think we can wait on
God for a few minutes each day. We can take the time to pray for his  direction and
allow him to create, shape, and connect all the missing
pieces in our lives.

Let’s pray.

Dear God,

Today, take me to a place in my
heart, thoughts, and body to patiently wait
for your timing and all that you have for me.
I know the best is coming.
Thank you for the confetti of blessings that you shower upon me.

Amen,

Lola


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He Is The Yin To My Yang, Part 1

 

 

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Ever have days that you want to eat everything?

Like you want to order TWO butter croissant to go with your triple grande latte. I mean two croissants? Really? 

Right now, I’m thinking about ordering another one because I devoured the first one. I’m patiently waiting in my office, which is Starbucks, for my creative cells in my brain to kick in so I can send  a draft to my editor, Mary Beth, to “clean it up” a bit.

Or, I can bag my writing all together for today and go across the street to McDonald’s and order a Big Mac with cheese, super-sized greasy fries, and a large Diet Coke.

I could go to the pizza joint next door and get a glass of wine, but it’s a bit early for Merlot.

When I have this need to eat everything in sight, I know it’s not about what to eat.
It’s what’s eating me that is the problem.

See, I know all about my moods and my particular frame of mind and body  because of all my self love, self talk, self-help books, meditation tapes, yoga retreats, silent retreats, and ten years of therapy.

Well, I might as well share with you what is eating me.

First, Ralph, my son in New York, quit his full-time job at a talent agency. A job he said he really wanted. I don’t understand these young ones. Why can’t he work there for 50  years and then retire with his bulging 401k folder and retirement gift of a nice watch? But, he tells me he is confused. “I’m  50,” I tell him.  “And, I’m as confused as ever!”

Second, the other day, I received pictures of Napoleon going to the zoo with his mom Ruth and other grandma. I felt jealous of the other grandma. She gets to be with him more than me. She gets to hold him and squeeze his fat cheeks. Napoleon’s parents tell me he is so big! At 15 months, he weighs 32 pounds. He is bigger and stronger than his nanny.

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Now, if he was here, I wouldn’t be at Starbucks on the pity pot, crying over what I don’t have. Napoleon  and I would be at  McDonald’s  and ordering two HAPPY MEALS. And being satisfied. 

Third, last weekend my real estate agent and I went to see a condo. I fretted for days if we should make an offer on the condo. Entering the condo, I felt a positive vibe as I admired the open floor plan and big windows. It totally had feng shui going on. But, there was one glitch.

My Old Wise One was out of town. I can’t make an offer without Old Wise One. He is the yin to my yang.

I fretted over the condo and lost sleep.  Finally I said, “Lola, if you are going to fret it should be over something major like not having running water or money to fix your car.”

Ohhh . . . but this condo, it was close to perfection with its  brown and dark green granite tiles in the kitchen, view of the city, and its cherry  hardwood floors . . . except we needed to partition a section off the living room so we can make a tiny office. Then, I came to my senses.

Part 2 tomorrow