lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Leave a comment

Sunday Scripture 4 featuring Luke 10 verse 27

Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way to my video. Haha. Hi!
I noticed I said the wrong verse in my video.  Forgive me. Here is the correct verse Luke 10 v 27 not Luke 11. This verse is about loving  your neighbor as you love yourself. Cheers.


Buh-Bye Now



When do you know when you had enough?
When do you say “Buh-bye now” to someone who is
not pleasant to be with?

Eunice is a relative of mine.

Sunday Ol’ Wise One and I drive up to
her favorite casino in the middle of
the Pacific Northwest where the roadsides are
dense with fall-colored trees. We have
done this drive for the last 28 years. Suffice to say,
before the journey I say to myself “Please, God, help me today” prayer.

Eunice loves celebrating her birthday inside Casino Royale where
it is dark , smelly, and filled with chain smokers. Just where
you want to spend your bright sunny Sunday.

I go along for this ride and this birthday lunch
out of respect for Ol’ Wise One.

When lunch is over and we are walking to her car,
I hug Eunice to say goodbye and she doesn’t hug back.
It is as if I have some incurable virus. And she doesn’t care to
say thank you for for the gift, the lunch, and our time to make the three-hour drive
to meet her for her birthday.

Eunice has always been this way. Why expect anything different?
I keep hoping she will change her ways. But, this particular
day something in me awakens. I finally realize it is me
who needs to change. I have had enough of her rudeness and ungrateful

Eunice is now in her own car and we walk to ours. I am deep in thought.
Suddenly, I tell myself,“This is where it stops. This is where I draw the line.”
I have clarity. I will not be deterred in any way.

I have been patient for 28 years. Now it is time to say: Buh-bye now.
No more birthday lunches with Eunice for me.

When we begin to honor who we are . . . we make room for the
universe to bless us with something better that is more meaningful and enjoyable.
Our choice honors and symbolizes our appreciation for our precious time left on this planet.

Dear God,
I release this situation to you.
You blessed me with wisdom and guidance to
do the right thing for 28 years. I have shown up, honored and respected this relative.
I will now step aside.

Amen. Lola

1 Comment

“Get Out of Jail” Card, Part 1

Next week is Betty’s birthday. She’s my mother-in-law.
My husband said we will be meeting his brother and his wife for dinner to celebrate.

With my back as vertical as possible and my shoulders squared up, I faced him. Speaking from my center,  I said, “No, I’m not going.” His face turned sour. He didn’t like my answer.

In the past, I lived my life around my husband and other people. Always, around October, we have a birthday dinner for his mom. And on Mother’s Day, we take her out to brunch.
I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I have always gone along and tried not to get upset that I wasn’t doing what I wished to do on Mother’s Day.

Once in a great while clarity arrives; you reach a place of truth that belongs only to you. The fog lifts.
I had such a “fog lifting” moment.
To certain people in our lives, you just have to say,

I have honored Betty’s birthday for the last 25 years.
I am using my Get Out of Jail card for this one.

It’s her birthday. She is 84 years old.
She has lived through eight marriages, raised two sons, had cancer and fought it. She was a dynamite restaurant owner and manager and has had her share of the usual miserable lows of life.
She simply plowed through them. She’s a work horse like that.

I admire her strength and tenacity.
I love her ribs and pot roast. I wish I could cook like her, but that will never happen.

The other side of the coin is she that she is a poster child for
passive aggressive-drama queen behavior.

Saying “No, I’m not going” was a huge lesson for me.
It took every ounce of energy I have to say those four words.

I prayed about speaking up with honesty and with integrity in my voice. I had to believe in me . . .
that I have value beyond just being able to fulfill someone else’s expectations.

Betty’s expectation is for me and for everyone else to be there to make her happy. Every time, we fail and she lets us know it.
But, the only person who can make her happy is herself.

Meeting the expectations of other people and pleasing them is not what I was meant to do on this planet.

I know that challenging relationships and setbacks are opportunities to grow–use these opportunities to speak up, stand your ground, and follow your heart.