lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Louis Vuitton Diaper Bag

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IMG_0640-2It’s been a week of “my world has ended” feelings.
Sometimes we desire something
so much, but we can’t have it.
The stars and moon will simply not line up just for us.

On Monday, I found the house of my dreams. It had
everything I ever wanted like dark hardwood floors and a toilet
that sprays and cleans your behind. I thought I had died and gone to heaven
when I saw the travertine backsplash in the kitchen. I had to touch it.
And there was even a bonus room for all of my grandson’s toys and
stuffed animals.
Within 24 hours, a three-buyer bidding war was going on
and I was not in the middle of it!

Dammit! It is a sellers market out there
so you have to decide within a day if you want to place a bid.
Yeah, right! Let me sign the papers right now.
I’m not like that. I need time to be alone and THINK and PRAY.
I need time to have a Krispy Kreme and a cup of cappuccino.

“C’mon . . . Hon, it’s not the time to think, pray, and eat doughnuts.
Right now you have to jump in. Play with the big dogs,” says Ole Wise One.

How I love this man and his motivational speeches.

Not getting my dream home is not the end
of my world I say to myself to nurse my worn out soul.
I can always get a fixer-upper
and install my own top-of-the-line toilet
that cleans every inch of my ASS.

Life could be a lot worse.
My sister Rita’s world ends once a month.

“Lolaaa . . . ,” she sobs over the phone.

I take a deep breath and let it out.

“Am I being punished by the Pregnant Gods?”


“I don’t think so. You’re a lovely person.”

“I don’t understand. I can’t get pregnant.
And trying is not fun anymore. It’s work.”


I feel for her. I’m always speechless when I get her calls. Which is strange for me. Having words come out of my mouth all the time is my norm.

So, my sister badly wants a baby.

“Are your husband’s sperm not great swimmers? Are they having
trouble swimming upstream?” I ask.

“Well, it seems my egg and his sperm just refuse to connect. Why can’t I get pregnant?”

“Be open to adopting a newborn. You can provide a child with lots of love and annual trips to Disneyland,” I tell her.

“But, I want to experience being pregnant.”

“It’s not that fun,” I say trying to make her feel better. “You throw up for two months, gain 30 lbs,
and your ankles swell up.”

“Adopting just isn’t the same.”

“So you want to throw up and gain weight.”

“Yes!” More crying. “Everyone around me is pregnant. We are so ready.” She blows her nose.

“We have a 3-bedroom home, a gardener to mow our huge backyard, a steady income. Just last week I bought a Louis Vuitton  bag thinking I can use it for a diaper bag.”

“Dangg Girlfriend. Your hubby must be making some
good dough. You got an LV bag? Text me a picture. ”

“Stop, I’m serious Lola.”

“Me, too. I want a LV bag.”

She and I broke out laughing.


At times, I don’t know why we can’t have what we want and
what we desire no matter how many Hail Marys we send to up to the
sky or how long we sit in meditation and try to visualize our perfect outcome.

Sometimes, the moon and stars will not line up in your favor.

I told my sister who I hold close to my heart, “Perhaps there is newborn baby boy for you who needs you as much as you need him. Think about that.”

For me, my dream home was snatched by away by some hot-shot bidder. But, I have to remain open and be positive that something better is right around the corner.

Dear God
You say that “My thoughts are not your thoughts” and
“My ways go far beyond more than you can imagine.”
I will stand by your truth.

Comfort my sister and all the other couples in this world who are waiting
on your perfect will.



Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

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