lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Drug of Choice

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this is your face when you eat donuts and cupcakes

This is your face when you eat doughnuts and cupcakes–FAT!

Today was a Krispy Kreme day.

Going into the drive-thru I was tempted to order five
original Krispy Kreme doughnuts and gobble them all
in one sitting.

However, I have self-control. I bought only one.
From past experience, I know that one donut will
satisfy my craving
and make me content for awhile.
Five donuts will send my mind and body as high
as the sky. Then, I will  spiral down and fall into a coma.

“Napkin please,” I ask.
“You need a napkin for one doughnut?” she says.
Oh great, we have a comedian working at Krispy
Kreme.

Be nice, Lola, you were at bible class two hours ago,
I tell myself. What did you learn in class? To be good to
people. That includes the drive-thru cashier at your
favorite doughnut shop!

With my hands on 10 and 2 on the wheel, I can’t decide
if I should wait until I get to my destination or eat the
doughnut NOW.

I talk myself into waiting for the perfect time to eat.
See, a warm Krispy Kreme doughnut should not be
stuffed within seconds in your mouth.
It needs to be gently unwrapped. I like to get my
nose close to the doughnut 
to smell the mixture of
sugar and fat that will 
travel down to my butt and thighs
to live there 
till the day I die.

It was past noon and I had to get to my second
appointment. “I can’t be late for my accountant. I was
already late for bible study two hours ago. And I can’t
eat and drive. I need to concentrate. I say out loud to
no one in my car.

The day was chaotic.  I was not present at all.
My breathing was tight. I couldn’t wait for the
day to get over with.

But I was determined to show up no matter what
crazy frame of mind I was in.
My mantra to calm down was “This too shall pass.”
Didn’t work. I had enough anxiety for 20 people.

What was getting to me was making a decision
about buying a home my husband and I are looking at.
After my CPA meeting, I  had another appointment to
meet our real estate agent so I could look over the
house just one more time.

This home had street appeal, a three-car garage, and
a new deck. But, I had reservations about it. Perhaps
it was the price. You think? No . . . maybe what bothered
me was the five bedrooms I was going to have to vacuum
each week.

Buying a home. It is not like buying a pair of shoes at
Nordstrom. You can’t return a home you decided
doesn’t fit the following week. 
It’s a big ordeal.

Arriving at my CPA’s office. I surprised myself. I had
20 minutes before my appointment. I made a quick
phone call.

Then, I glanced down at my doughnut patiently
waiting for me. “Come to mama,” I said. My drug for
the moment. 
There is nothing that a KK doughnut can’t cure.

Checking myself in my mirror for traces of sugar on my lips . . .
I felt better.
I treated myself to some sugar.
The drug of my choice when my life is anxiety-ridden
and big decisions have to be made.

Dear God,
Buying a home is a big decision.
I wish you could text me and give me
the address to our next home.
It would make life easier.
But I do know you don’t text.

It is by  faith and believing in all things
that the right thing will happen.
Your timing is perfect. The perfect home
will appear at the best time and place.
Give me patience as I wait for you to
answer my prayers.
Thank you.
Amen, Lola

Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

One thought on “Drug of Choice

  1. Pingback: Drug of Choice | lolaguerrero

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