lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Not the Perfect Cocktail

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She clears her throat. “I have a proposal,” she tells me while I sit in my car.
I hear her cry over the phone. I know that it must have been a hard decision for her to make the call. I have known her for a long time. I know her.

“I need to borrow some cash,” she says.
I hold my breath and slouch down in my driver’s seat.

A friend or a relative borrowing money from me is always an uncomfortable space.
It’s a space I never want to be in.

Friends, relatives, and money do not make the perfect cocktail, nor is such a concoction a solution to a problem.

My husband and I have had a couple of circumstances where friends or relatives came to us for a loan.
“I will pay you back,” they say.
It is such a disappointment when they don’t deliver.
You go out of your way to write them a check and they flake out on you.

There was a time when I vowed never to be the borrower.
I see the borrower as desperate and weak.

I remember when I made that vow.
It was a sunny day in June. This was about 20 years back.
I was at a friend’s home and I asked three different people in the living room if I could borrow $20.00 for gas. One by one they all left the room. As if they never heard me.

Sitting on my friend’s porch, I was  crushed and I felt so alone. I realized this: NO ONE GIVES A HOOT IF YOU HAVE GAS OR NOT IN YOUR TANK!
From then on,  I told myself I will never borrow money from anyone.
If I lose everything in life and I have no food, no gas, and no pot to piss in,I would still
never go to a friend or relative to ask for money.

Instead I would do the following:

1. Get on welfare and food stamps so I could get back on my feet.
2. Sell my body.
3. Work at Shari’s and live off my tips.

Selling my body would be a stretch for me. I would have more success being on welfare or working at Shari’s restaurant.

How did I answer to my friend’s proposal? I took a leap of faith.
I felt that she is a true friend who will deliver.
I loaned her the money, but not the amount she asked for.
My husband and I agreed on a certain amount.
I loaned her the money because she is a long time friend.
I trust she will be true to her word.

Dear God,
I have no idea how to pray for this situation. I do know this
I will let it go.  Bless my friend, help her with all that she
is going through. Thank you. Amen.



Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

One thought on “Not the Perfect Cocktail

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