lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Hopeless? Don’t Be

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It’s Wednesday–my first bible group meeting is in two hours.
We are studying about Moses wandering
in the wilderness for 40 years. He was adopted,
lived in a palace, saw a burning bush, murdered an Egyptian, and hid.
He complained, felt insecure, and sinful. However, he became a writer at age 80 and lived to be 120 years old.
He penned five books. He became the greatest prophet of all time.

Hopeless?
Don’t be.

I can remind myself to feel hopeful, but I still contemplate if getting out of  bed is a good idea. What is wrong with me?

I have been thinking about attending a bible group for three years.
I know it’s God nudging me. I haven’t been paying attention. Now, here I have it all scheduled, as I wanted, and now, I don’t want to show up?

I am a Moses–stubborn, directionless.
I can hear my BF’s voice
in my head.

“Nope, you’ve gotta show up.”

“You’re right, BF,” I say. “That’s why you are my BF. You know me so well. I can’t attain my dreams of being a serious actor (no reality shows for me!), best selling Christian author/blogger and lecturer, or even just an ordinary JOE (say, being a cashier at Rite-Aid) if I stay under my Ralph Lauren comforter.”

I always ask for a clear sign from God. I want to know if I’m going the right way and if what I’m doing pleases the Almighty.

There is nothing worse than going the wrong way.

Last night, I prayed for kind, funny Christian ladies in my group.

Now, here I am looking around and wondering if my prayers were answered.

I’m seated with ten ladies–so far so good.
Going around the circle, we introduced ourselves and
I get the sense we are all praying for “direction.”

My lord, are we all lost the way Moses was?

A couple of ladies are widows. Some are retired.  A very thin
and overly suntanned lady has her wig on, lopsided.  And no one
wants to tell her.

I told myself not to say too much because, when I do, I tend to take over. But, our leader said, “If someone says something, let’s all keep the conversation going around the circle. Anyone can jump in.”
I nod. I like her. She and I will get along.

One lady reminded me of Aunt Lucy. She wore a  skirt
with nylon knee high stockings and you can see the garter
so tight around her knees, you hope that blood was still able to
travel up to her brain.

Driving home, I feel giddy and lightweight. With this energy, I could have walked home. I knew the Holy Spirit was doing something in me.

I’m so glad I showed up. I think this lightweight feeling is a sign.
I’m on the right path. And if not, this bible class will
give me material to blog about for a year.

This is what I know.

God is in control in all our circumstances. While Moses was wandering around lost like many of us, God’s hand was on Moses’s shoulder. Moses was being trained to be a great leader for God’s people. Moses went from fear to being courageous.

We are all in training to do God’s work. His hand is guiding each of us to be part of his grand plan.

Dear God.
At times, we don’t pay attention
to the nudges and signs along the way.
With your rod and staff, guide us in the direction
you want us to go and work for your glory.

Amen,

Lola

Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

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