lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Potholes

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Driving on 1st Avenue this morning,
as I make my way to the gym, I’m constantly
on the look out for potholes.                                                            photo-4
Especially the ones that are deep.

When you drive over those, you hear a loud THUMP.
I don’t like them!

They are such a nuisance. They mess up the wheel alignment and my car’s overall well being.

I want my car to purr and hum just like the day I drove it out of the showroom.

I thought of my son, Ralph, as I turn into the gym  parking garage
and begin to cry. He shared his two potholes with me the other day, his work and apartment situation. I wanted to
say, “Son,  I will send a check right now. Take two aspirin
and call me in the morning.”

The most difficult and tug-of-war feelings I have had
since the boys left home are related to the urge to take away their potholes and doing the patching up for them.

Mom is here! I’m all ready with fresh asphalt to make your road smooth. Just tell me where to put it!

As a parent I want my boys’ lives to hum along with no troubles, no potholes. I want the path in their lives to be uneventful, flat, and safe.

I don’t want my boys to be hurt or feel pain. Because when they hurt, I hurt. My stomach is in knots and my thoughts spiral.

It has taken me years to learn how to stop the spiraling and remind myself, “I want my adult sons to be strong, to use their brain, and to not quit. So, step back and give them space.”

Hardships and challenging events are teachers.
I used to shoulder all my issues and solve problems on my own.
I’d cry deep sobs and grab a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, but I found that doing this just made matters worse. And there would just be more potholes down the road.

What I DO now is gather up all my thoughts and feelings and take them to God. What I learned is I can’t live in fear and have faith at the same time. I have to stand on my faith and own it.
I have to trust that God will bring about a solution that goes beyond my expectations.

He is the Holy One.

What do YOU do when you hit life-jarring potholes?

Dear God,
Hardships and painful events in our lives shape us. I’m grateful for all the potholes I have driven through. I’m wiser, more faithful, and stronger because of them.

As parents, bless us with knowledge and understanding so that we know when to help and when to give our adult children space.

Amen,
Lola

Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

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