lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Argentina, Somewhere Warm

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It’s a typical Monday in my wild and carefree existence. My husband is getting ready for work and I’m getting ready to go to the gym. I call it my church–the assembly of able bodies and mind.

He knows I write and blog. He doesn’t hesitate to tell me what topics will be of interest to 70 million people and become a best seller. “People are not interested in your life, my life, nor our children’s lives. Blah, blah, blah.” After he said our “children’s lives” I feel a dart hit me right between the eyes. And my brain goes to static like an old TV set gone haywire. I fail to hear the rest of the sentence. I felt judged.

After being in therapy for 10 years I was trained not to react but to act. To not shutdown, but express myself. I summon energy . . . “Oh, right. Old Wise One. Well, have a pleasant day at the office.” Then I breezily pick up my gym bag and head out the door with hope that the next person I meet will have more uplifting words for me.

My husband’s comment was a bit much on a Monday morning. Wouldn’t you say?

I go to my car and my mind is filled with a string of thoughts. I’m 50, I act and write, I keep myself physically fit, I’m in menopause, I’m married with two kids out on their own. My libido is out on its own, too. “IT” decided to move to Argentina, some where warm.

I’m also a taxi driver to my 70-year-old mother. I’m not interesting? Wow. Let me just go down to the beach and bury my head in the sand with my BUTT sticking up.

After my one hour run on the treadmill, I get over it. I forgave Old Wise One for judging me. Instead it got me thinking.

In Matthew 7 it says, “Stop judging others and you will not be judged.” I need to be conscious of that and to bite my tongue. I judge everyone wheather they are alive or dead. I judge my sister-in-law for not taking care of her children the right way, my way. I judge my dead uncle for not being kind to my aunt when he was alive. Who am I to pass judgement on someone doing their best in life? And how arrogant of me to judge someone that is dead.

Today, it starts with me. I will live and breath Matthew 7. I hope you do the same.

Dear God, Give me your eyes. Let me see the innocence of who I meet and talk to today. Bless me with words to lift them up, not tear them down. What I say to others will find its way back to me  so put my heart and tongue in check. Thank you for reminding me that judging, kindness, and love begin with me.  Amen. Lola

Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

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