Aug 7, 2013 at 10 am is significant for me. I remember
exactly what I was doing; driving Ralph (my 23-year-old baby) to the airport. He is heading to NYC. I remember not feeling at all. I was on autopilot. I went through the motions–I hugged him real tight, told him to be safe, and said that I love him.
Then, a week later, I experienced déjà vu. I was just here, I told myself. In this very same spot at the airport, but now I’m hugging my older son, Christopher. He is going back to Manila where he plays professional basketball. My two favorite people are leaving me. What now?
Where do I want to go after dropping one of my sons off?
Yes, Wendy’s . . . it is too early to go to a bar.
Many changes occurred when the boys left home . . .
Now, why did one of my sons have to move to the East Coast?
There are too many miles in between.
He should have moved to Russia; it’s just as far.
I prayed all through Ralph’s senior year in college
that God would guide him to Southern California, where
he could have found a career in films.
“They make movies there, too, you know,” I said to God.
God didn’t listen.
But, I do KNOW this–as much as I was praying for
God’s will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven.
I wanted my will to take precedence.
It was all about ME and what I wanted.
My thinking was it’s so much easier to travel up and down
the West Coast. It’s a smart move, a win-win for everyone.
On August 7, New York won. The thought of Ralph not being
nearby made me sleepless at night.
Everyday I would tell myself “just surrender; you have no control.”
Some days are easy; some are not so great.
As scary and nervous as I was, I had to let my boys take flight.
My gift to both of them was the freedom to flap their wings and fly away, to experience and thrive in spite of life’s harsh realities (like paying back school loans, dealing with addiction, managing credit card debt, being in abusive relationships, and being patient enough to hold out for a dream career).
Good parents emotionally support their children and advise them
which way to go, but I don’t believe parents should rescue their kids. When we rescue, we interfere with God’s plans . . .we cause more harm than good.
The journey is heartbreaking and stressful on both sides, but so joyful when breakthroughs come about.
You hope with all your heart they learn how to LAND on both feet.
The other day a small bird flew straight into our clean, shiny window.
Either he was not paying attention or he miscalculated his landing.
We all miscalculate what comes our way in life many times over, just like that bird.
I hear maturity in my son’s voice. It gives me comfort.
The other day he said to me over the phone,
“Mom, I have learned a lot about life that I couldn’t have
learned living at home.”
“That can only mean one thing . . . you are in the right place, then, to learn all your lessons and to grow and flourish.
I’m proud of you. Keep moving forward.”
Do you have a significant date and time you will never forget?
I miss my boys. I see glimpses of maturity and
signs along the way that Ralph is suppose to
be in New York City and Christopher in the Philippines.
Thank you for watching over them keeping them
safe and healthy.
Bless all the moms with adult children in my little corner of the world and beyond with a surrendered spirit.
Guide each and every child in the direction of your light.