lola guerrero

50-something empty-nest-search-for-God-and-happiness with more than a dash of humor

Celebrate

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I hop on a ferry boat to meet my BF for lunch at this cute little
Italian place on her side of the island. I desperately needed to
recharge ME:  loving, fun, ambitious, awesome
ME. I wanted to take “time out” one day of the week to not
care for any one but me as last week was all about
relatives. I wanted to celebrate that I am enough. What I do
for others is enough.

The sun is out. It’s warm and our table is in the shade. We order bruschetta and a bottle of wine. I notice that around us there are more women than men. They, too, were perhaps on a break from doing too much. We were all on a mission to solve each others’ home front problems with a glass of wine and laughs. To raise our wine glasses to We are simply the best!

I put aside all my hangups and guilt about playing hooky from my day job. Surprisingly, no relative  died that I’m aware of and the world continued to rotate on its axis.

Caring for relatives is hard and it’s more work than I desire.
I know I make their world much easier, but I find my world, as a result, is just more complicated.  It’s work! It’s work without a 40lK.
Would I be a happy-go-lucky gal if I were paid the minimum
wage at least? Why, yes. This is what I know–money talks.

Six months ago I needed a new rear bumper. I asked the
mechanic, “Can you fix my bumper and take a look at
two door dings and fix them with no charge? They are tiny door
dings.”

“We don’t work for free, ma’am.”

“Good to know,” I replied.

This is what I know–no work is FREE.

I wish my family were mindful each week of throwing me
a bone like a gift certificate for Starbucks or Bed, Bath and Beyond. I would even gladly accept and appreciate $5.00 for gas.

“Help others from the goodness of your heart,” my husband says.

“Of course,  Old Wise One.”

I married a wise man.  He’s smart and right on. Lately I have been
living in darkness. His wisdom was refreshing like a cool drink.

I will continue to give from a place of goodness.
From a place of not to keep score.
From a place of karma, it will all come back to me.

Who is your BF? What do you do to celebrate?

Dear God,
Many times during the day, I feel I’m in the wrong
SPACE. This space doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t fit me.

Be with me as I go about my day. Give me something
to believe in when I feel uncomfortable and suffocated.

Thank you for best friends.
Teach us God to be caring mothers, daughters, wives, and nieces
in our little corner of the world. Thank you. Amen.

Lola

 

 

 

 

Author: lolaguerrero

50 something, mother of two, married, grandson named Napoleon. Love to go to the gym, watch films, act, write, jog, walk 10 miles with my husband, wine and travel. I"m a double tall, NF latte with half a pump of mocha with whip cream.

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